Top 10 Reasons I want to Cry

10. Pretty in Pink didn't come in at the library.
9. I'm blogging when I should be at Homecoming.
8. My friends all ditched me tonight.
7. Taylor Swift lies.
6. Kaitlyn in my ceramics class told me that anyone in band was a total loser. She didn't realize that I play tuba. It hurt even though I know I'm not a loser, and that she'll probably be pregnant before graduation.
5. It finally hit me that Neil Patrick Harris is gay. I mean, of course I knew he was, but he's Neil Fricken Patrick Harris!
4. Everyone has a boyfriend but me. I mean, Allie is going with Isaiah who, btdubs asked me to homecoming freshman year.
3. TOK likes KORTNEY. KORTNEY. As in my friend that my ex, Kyle, and I broke up over, because he was only dating me to get closer to her, when she had a boyfriend. Isaiah, actually. But yeah, THAT KORTNEY.
2. AND Kyle was my homecoming date last year. AND today is one year from our break up.
1. I want love so bad it hurts. And nobody wants it with me. Least of all Chris or TOK or anyone that I remotely like.

Question of the Month

Okay, so here's what i want to know:

Is matchmaking wrong??

so there are these two people i just KNOW would be great together (similar tastes, similar styles, political views, religious views: the works). before i said anything-- out of the clear blue sky, one of these people comes up to me and asks me to weigh in on the above question. I say: No. infact, some people request their friends set them up. but he thinks that its messing with fate or something... so what i want to know is: do you have an opinion? should i still try to set these people up?

i appologize for the profane use of too many colons in this post. my bad :)

flowers :)

i have a strange new love of casual horticulture... everyday i pick two or three pretty violets from my school's court yard as "gifts" for my friends. TOK (we're tight. he's this completely rad freshmen in my section who likes EVERY girl in band but me. i may or may not like him... hey! i don't read your blog and judge your attractions!) saw that i had one today and asked me for it, so of course i was all: "totally! i was planning on giving you one anyway!!"
which was cool until he gave it to jessica (my friend... sorta. see she used to like TOK, until he told her he might like her. now she's leading him on in a major way leaving me completely conflicted.).
is it totally complicated? yes. but its my life and i'm starting to heart flowers less and less...

Favorite Songs (All Time)

1. I am a Pirate, You are a Princess: Analog Rebellion


2. White Houses: Vanessa Carlton


3. Confess: Phantom Planet


4. Do You Believe in Magic: The Lovin' Spoonful


5. In the Sun: She and Him


6. I Could Say: Lily Allen


7. Mr. Right: A Rocket to the Moon


8. Life on Mars: David Bowie


9. My Evil Plan to Save the World: Five Iron Frenzy


10. The Science of Selling Yourself Short: Less Than Jake

Spring Breaking

So, what does a 16 year old with no drivers licence and very few friends in town do with her spring break?

a lot of this:



no, not taking super serious pictures with the under 40 over 20 crowd. watching "fact or faked" on SyFy with my little brothers. which is actually relatively interesting.

or this:



ok. so that is-- exactly what it looks like. I'm watching Dragon Ball Z Kai. why? who knows?
But I TOTALLY do not just bum out in front of the tv all day! I got in some awesome sketching and a story idea from a vanessa carlton song with some legit 3d characters.

booya!

Ew. TILDA.

TILDA is my stand partner. Not short for Matilda. Just TILDA. It's an acronym of my own device.
T-that
I-insane
L-little
D-dumb
A- @$$

Here are the top ten reasons he merits that name:

1. He got expelled and weasled his way back in to school.
2. He looks like Gollum (LotR).
3. "Eewww! Allison!!!! The freshman is hitting on me again!!" -me
4. I've been told (from TILDA obviously) that I have very soft hands. Creepy much?
5. He may or may not play the tuba better than me. I wouldn't know because he NEVER really plays.
6. His favorite hobby as far as I can tell is dead baby jokes. Which are sick and disturbing.
7. He has this habit of not bringing his music and then writing ALL OVER mine.
8. I REALLY do not like this kid. His aura is like-- have you ever not put enough chocolate syrup in the glass when trying to make chocolate milk? yeah that color.
9. STORY REPEATER. NEED I SAY MORE?????
10. He doesn't shut up about that one time, in the 7th grade, when he was 1st chair trumpet before switching to tuba. As though I believe it. They only recruit the last chairs for low brass. Thats how I got there.

Him

So, you know how every girl has that one guy that they never fully get over? yeah, well I guess that person would have to be Chris. I have been pouring over old journals and notebooks and letters I fully NEVER intended on sending. I miss him. I haven't seen him in weeks and while I full acknowledge that we were never together and never will be, my life just seemed simpler when I knew I wanted to be with him. I don't know why I'm thinking of all this now. I mean, what the hell, right? Everytime a new guy walks into my life, Chris suddenly comes back for a week and then leaves again.

Jessica is the same way. Maybe we're more alike then I'd like to believe, but still. I ought to just take a break from guys for a while. How does that sound? I'll be back tomorrow with a less depressing rant, k?

Bye,
B